i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
