I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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