Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
