Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
two words: eviction party
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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