Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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