Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this beer tastes like vomit already
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
