It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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