This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
