You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
