would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
