I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
