How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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