what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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