Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
