I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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