Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
