Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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