I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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