He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I have post one night stand depression
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