your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
