found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
