i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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