She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
