3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
