Bisexual people are plain selfish.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
