I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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