She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
