when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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