I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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