U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
