i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
