Don't you send me to vm
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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