i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
