We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
