you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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