HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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