My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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