He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
