So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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