rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
