at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
