Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
the raccoons are back...
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