I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
