my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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