Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
