the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
