Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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