ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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