I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
