My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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