You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
