2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
