lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
