You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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